Are you and your partner stuck in a sexual rut? Is your sex life just not as exciting as it used to be? Do you want to recapture the feeling of having just met and having the most amazing sex your life? Do you want to know how to spice up your sex life?
Well, fear not, because today I am going to share with you some of my best tips for spicing up your lackluster sex life. Using these tips, you can go from having a boring sex life to having sex that has both of you screaming with pleasure.
Why Most People Lose “The Spark”
In the beginning of a relationship, sex is naturally a novelty. You’re both with someone new, and getting to know each other’s likes and dislikes ensures that you both have lots of sex trying to figure each other out. Eventually, though, you end up in a slump, and you just can’t figure out what went wrong.
Problem #1: Not Enough Foreplay
Think back to when you first begin a relationship. The sex is passionate, intense, and lasts for most of the night.
Fast-forward to now. Sex is mundane, routine, and lasts all of ten minutes.
The #1 problem I have found in any sexual relationship – not just “old” ones – is the lack of foreplay. Many couples seem to regard it as a chore.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Having good foreplay is the SECRET to a fulfilling sex life. If you get the foreplay right, the sex practically just falls into place and will automatically be awesome. Foreplay is very much a part of good sex – so don’t think you can just jump straight to the act itself. It doesn’t work that way.
Every sexual session should be viewed as a wonderful opportunity to explore each other’s bodies. Try licking and biting in places where you’ve never been game to do so before. Personally, I always viewed it as a game, and tried to get my partner as aroused as possible before the actual act. Good foreplay creates sexual tension. The more tension during the sex, the better the relief (or climax) is going to be, and the whole experience will just be plain better for it dildos.
Problem #2: Not Trying New Things
Remember when I said that you should view sex as an opportunity to please your partner and find out what they like? Here’s a tip that goes hand in hand with that: TRY NEW THINGS.
Explore your fantasies. Embrace your fetishes. Role-play. Dress up. Try some light bondage, S&M, anal play, dominant/submissive roles, whatever you want to do. Talk to your partner about your “hidden” desires – most of the time your partner will be extremely supportive in helping you fulfill them!
Even just trying different positions can have a hugely positive effect on your sex life. Try getting the Kama Sutra, and just flick through it and try a different position every night. Alternatively you can get board games from your local novelty or sex shop that have suggestions on what you guys can do. The random element can really keep things interesting and fun, and it takes the decision making out of the process.
Problem #3: Not Enough Romance
If you’re in a rut, it makes sense that your relationship is reasonably long-term. Often we get so caught up in our day-to-day lives that we forget how important it is to tell that special someone what they mean to us or just time out to chill out with them. Try some sensual activities like taking a bath together. You could also try making love by candlelight, or using incense, or the old classic – food play. Cover your lover’s body with different foods and lick it off, or, alternatively, take turns feeding each other fruit like grapes and strawberries, but trail the fruit over their different curves gently before feeding it to them.
Basically what this all boils down to is ways to create a bit of sexual tension in your relationship. If you can get the sexual tension aspect happening, then really everything else kind of takes care of itself.